Sardine Standoff: An ABC Story by Lydia Baines

Editor's Note:

I met Lydia less than a year ago at a youth retreat, and we have been emailing ever since. When Lydia sent me a story she wrote in response to this post, I emailed her back promptly, asking permission to post her ABC story on my blog. She said yes! I hope you enjoy Lydia's work as much as I did.

P.S. Note how each new section starts with the next letter of the alphabet, hence the name "ABC Story."

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Sardine Standoff by Lydia Baines

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Ack. Here we go again.

Barely a week has gone by since I was dropped off in Antartica, and today marks the third day I've been surrounded by Gentoo penguins.

Caught with an open can of sardines in my stiff hand, I knew it wouldn't be long before I got jumped.

"Darn it! Can't you leave a freezing photographer in peace?!" I yelled at the waddling mass approaching.

Each penguin seemed unfazed by my outburst.

Fine, I thought. At least I can get some good action pictures as they advance. 

Getting my camera set up with the correct angle of the tripod, I took some breathtaking shots. 

Having caught a whiff of my sardines on the bitter winds a few days ago, they were already familiar with the source of the smell, so they picked up pace once they caught sight of me.

It wasn't my fault my favourite food happened to be theirs too!

Juggling my can of sardines in one hand and my camera in the other, I climbed on top of the largest rock closest to me on the beach, hoping to wait out the attack.

Keeping my feet away from the edges of the rock, I did a 360 to see if there was any way to escape that didn't involve an ice bath or a broken ankle. 

Looking in each direction, I could see attempting to escape would be futile.  

Making unintelligible squeaky honking noises, the penguins finally reached me and surrounded the rock. 

Numerous attempts to jump up were made, but to no avail. 

Ominously staring at me, each little Gentoo picked up a stone from the beach, obviously not intending to give to me as a loving gesture.

Pebbles poised in their beaks, I knew only one thing was about to happen; I was going to be mugged by birds.

Questioning why I became a photographer, I screamed as the penguins flung rocks up at me, as if aiming to knock the can out of my hand.

Realizing that there was only one option left for me to do if I didn't want to become a pile of pebbles, I flung the sardines as far as I could in a random direction.

Starving though I would be, this was the best way to distract them so I could make a break for it.

Their beady eyes followed the sardines as they soared above their heads and landed a whopping 80 feet away, splattering across the icy rocks.

Until now, I had always thought that penguins were slow on land, but I was obviously

misinformed.

Vying for first grabs at the spoiled sardines, the Gentoos vigorously waddled after the reeking fish at an unearthly speed.

"Whew!" I breathed a sigh of relief, stepping down from the abandoned boulder and packing up my things.

X-ray vision and super powers couldn't save you from those penguins, I sarcastically thought to myself.

You know, it isn't often I come to sound conclusions, but today I'm making one based off personal experience...

Zookeepers need a raise.